Tag: Animal

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6 Views0 Comments

I was in tears when my cat had to be put down. I looked into his wide eyes and whispered in his ear; "I love you Piddles, never forget that." I then put him down in his basket and got a few questionable looks from my ...


7 Views0 Comments

My horse is pretty useless. It suffers from hayfever.


8 Views0 Comments

Are you really getting into the spirit of the World Cup? Try putting a beeshive in your girlfriend's glove compartment and telling her you got her an African vuvuzela CD.


9 Views0 Comments

I hate jokes. I've felt that way ever since my fat mother-in-law went to the West Indies of her own accord. And brought back a dog with no nose.


10 Views0 Comments

The first rule of Animal Abusers Club is: you do not let the cat out of the bag.


9 Views0 Comments

My mother-in-law's coming over. I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep.


8 Views0 Comments

Shark attack: 'This was a rogue shark' Unlike those friendly ones.


9 Views0 Comments

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiler with a Hyena? I don't know but i'll join in if it laughs!


10 Views0 Comments

My little girl came in crying her eyes out. "Daddy! Daddy! Fluffy is lying still in his hutch. I think he may be dead." So I went to have a look. Sure enough he was. "Daddy, why is his willie sticking out?" I now regr...


11 Views0 Comments

I've just finished cleaning out my daughters budgerigar because she didn't want to do it. Well, times are hard and we can't afford chicken.


11 Views0 Comments

Im going to encourage my cat to live a more active life by telling it that it died peacefully 8 times in it's sleep


10 Views0 Comments

I'm fed up of people challenging my ethics and saying I don't do enough to better the world. Even my coat is recycled... ...it used to be a leopard.