Tag: Animal

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1355

14 Views0 Comments

You can't out run, out climb or out swim a bear. So always go into the woods with someone you can out run, out climb and out swim.

1401

15 Views0 Comments

I was talking to a wildlife expert earlier. I said, "how do you tell the difference between a male and a female hedgehog?" He said, "easy: the males have got loads of holes on their chest and a pained look on their fa...

1759

14 Views0 Comments

Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? To look for a tight seal.

1706

16 Views0 Comments

I'm a hunt saboteur... I like to walk round the countryside shooting foxes.

968

13 Views0 Comments

I was unpacking the groceries when I picked up a bunch of bananas and saw a long hairy leg poking out. Closer inspection revealed it was a very large Brazilian Wandering Spider, the most venomous in the world, and not...

1177

17 Views0 Comments

I've been teaching my dog how to count. I said "Rover, whats three plus two minus five"? and Rover said nothing.

1960

16 Views0 Comments

My pet mouse has just murdered my goldfish. I'm in shock. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?

866

17 Views0 Comments

Two goats were behind a Hollywood studio eating an old movie reel. One goat said to the other: "Pretty good, huh?" The second goat replied: "Yeah, but not as good as the book."

1294

20 Views0 Comments

What do ya get when you cross a road with a chicken? Questioned

1119

18 Views0 Comments

Me and the wife are going to be on channel 4's 'It's Me or the Dog' next week Or as I'm calling it, 'Which Dog should I Keep?'

1104

23 Views0 Comments

Just read in the paper that a young boy from Liverpool has been mauled to death by a Bull Mastiff, he might have stood a chance if he wasnt wearing that ridiculous red rag of a t-shirt.

898

21 Views0 Comments

How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4.

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