Category: Art

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29 Views0 Comments

My father gave me my first condom. Sadly, he was wearing it at the time.


19 Views0 Comments

A new exhibition where the artist uses human excrement to create celebrity portraits opens tomorrow. There'll be some familiar faeces on show.


26 Views0 Comments

Who's boss of the pencil case? The Ruler.


34 Views0 Comments

How do we know Vermeer had a low sperm count? Well, it's not 'Girl with a Pearl Necklace' is it?


30 Views0 Comments

Consistently innovative and exciting, the London International Mime Festival returns....Now you're talking


39 Views0 Comments

Fifty shades of grey The first ever book for dogs


51 Views0 Comments

Whenever I'm asked who the man of the match is, my answer is always the same. Lowry.


57 Views0 Comments

I lost so much cash through having my art stolen recently, but fortunately this month I've Claude Monet back.


44 Views0 Comments

Went to an M.C. Escher exhibition today. All the best prints were on the second floor but unfortunately I couldn't get there.


65 Views0 Comments

My dad paints all of his pictures in his own blood. He suffers for his art.


65 Views0 Comments

Vincent Van Gogh. There's a man. Everyone said to him "you can't be an artist! You only have one ear!" and you know what he said? "Sorry, I can't hear you".


67 Views0 Comments

'Every picture tells a story'. The picture up in my house, tells me how bad security is at the Khalil museum, and that Van Gogh's painting is not worth 32m.

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