Category: Advice

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92

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I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.

477

93 Views0 Comments

MESSAGE TO ALL SECURITY EQUIPMENT COMPANIES; Save money on expensive motion-sensor equipment, by replacing them all with automatic had-driers.

250

91 Views0 Comments

Uh.. If you have a good joke, wait til the site is running normally so we can actually vote it up? Don't waste it you gimps.

237

99 Views0 Comments

Helpful hint #1 When arranging to meet a girl from the internet, who "spreads 'em easily".... Make sure she doesn't mean diseases.

129

93 Views0 Comments

"Beware: Peanuts may cause small children to choke" What kind of society do we live in where murder tips are advertised on the back of peanut wrappers?!

410

97 Views0 Comments

My mates keep telling me that if I keep believing everything they keep saying to me, my brain will explode. So now I accuse them of lying, just in case.

442

96 Views0 Comments

In the Government's new move to offer free sports equipment to schools in deprived areas, I beg the Prime Minister to avoid baseball, archery and shooting.

488

109 Views0 Comments

I regularly drive to the pub, but am never guilty of drink driving. The secret is to consume so much alcohol that by closing time you have completely forgotten ever owning a car.

331

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Pubs. Save money on hand driers by just hanging up a pair of jeans.

479

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Hiccups sufferers: Become a bomb-diffuser. That way, the resultant terror of an ill-timed hiccup will instantly cure those troublesome hiccups.

311

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I asked a wise old man what the secret was to 'eternal life'. He said "Don't die"

395

99 Views0 Comments

We went out for an awesome night of delight and romance tonight, on our return home my girlfriend shocked me by asking me to hit her with my most private fantasy. Tera Patricks POV Box Set wasn't quite what she was th...