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Drivers: When you see those 'accident blackspot' signs you should speed up. You don't want to hang about in dangerous places.
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Men. Avoid wasting time drying your hands under the drier in pub toilets by simply calling your wife fat and holding your wet hands in front of her mouth.
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Do you know someone, or have been affected by someone, who needs a punch in the face? People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the...
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My wife phoned me at work today. "On your way home, can you call at the shop and get me some Tampax?" "I take it it's started again then." I sighed. I hate having to put up with her nosebleeds.
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I went for a job interview. "Where would you like to see yourself in five years time?" he asked me. I thought and said, "Suspended on full pay."
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Pretend you are going on a fabulous holiday to Barbados by going to Heathrow and sleeping on the floor.
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Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation
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I dont get most of the jokes on here recently and you English cant even spell properly its remotely you idiots. America. -------------------------- Please a) take note of the following grammatical and structural corre...
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I've been reading Dear Deirdre's photo casebook in The Sun newspaper for a while now and have come to the inescapable conclusion that women can't give deep thought to anything - unless they are in their underwear.
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When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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Top Tip #87 Freezing worms makes them easier to sharpen.
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Never have a motto. That's my motto.