Category: Advice

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25

68 Views0 Comments

A contact lens, painted black, makes an ideal skullcap for a Jewish hamster.

75

43 Views0 Comments

Top tip: When at the airport, if you get asked "Anything to declare?", it's not the best response to say "A Thumb War". Still though, their prison isn't too bad.

138

36 Views0 Comments

Give a man a fish and you've fed him for a day. But teach a man to wear a fishnet stocking for a mask and hold up a bank and you've taken care of him for life, one way or another.

189

44 Views0 Comments

Roadside accidents; a great place to pick up that last-minute anniversary gift.

241

28 Views0 Comments

I've learnt the awkward way, if your girlfriend's mother asks "Would you do me a favour?" - ALWAYS wait until she has said "a favour" before eagerly nodding and saying yes.

291

84 Views0 Comments

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too surprised.

338

73 Views0 Comments

Scousers, Get your day off to a cracking start by adding a couple of shots of activia to your vodka

390

123 Views0 Comments

BODY BUILDERS: Save time and money blending up all your meals by placing the food directly in your mouth and moving your lower jaw up and down until the food is mashed up enough for swallowing.

438

24 Views0 Comments

I find that lying is like farting in the bath, you think it's funny at first, but it always bubbling to the surface eventually.

484

66 Views0 Comments

*Sound advice* "Never ask a woman if she's pregnant until you can see the head".

1

54 Views0 Comments

Just think - the old homeless guy who sits outside my local station doesn't know what it's like to have a full tummy on Christmas Day. But he will do this Friday, thanks to me - I'm gonna go down there and tell him.

39

45 Views0 Comments

I just saw the advert for Compare The Meerkat com saying that they are updating their server to cope with more people online. Sickipedia! Take Note!! Simples.......

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